ONE month!

Harrison Joseph Wildenhain, born March 3, 2016 at 12:38am. 7 lb 15 oz. 21.75 inches long. Ryan was right by my side when Harrison was put on my chest as he let out a whimper cry with a small puckered mouth.

It is a strange feeling of time flying by but also working hard learning how to be his Mama through long nights and long days. So much has happened over the last month. He went from a sleepy newborn, learning how to nurse, barely opening his eyes to knowing exactly what he wants (his Mama and Mama's milk, straight from Mama herself). He has alert happy mornings, gets fussy between 7-9pm and during the night likes to sleep on Mama or Daddy's chest {which we are working on...}.

Milestones:
There are SO many, I mean how detailed should I get on these baby blog posts...? He had his first yellow, seedy poop on Sunday, March 4, which means Mama's milk had processed through completely. Ok, so maybe just some highlights, not every count of wet/dry diapers...? Maybe instead of milestones a little timeline will fit better here.

Timeline:
The first night home after the hospital was MISERABLE. We planned to be discharged early afternoon on 3/4. Somehow, we ended up finishing all our discharge checklist by 3/4:00, but weren't able to actually leave the hospital until after 7:00. Going into that first night, we didn't even know where the gauze pads and jelly were that we were supposed to change every diaper change. I was not ready to comfortably sit up and nurse when I'd only done it in the hospital bed with 5+ pillows propping us up. He cried so much and we hadn't figured out A N Y of his soothing cues yet. It was the W O R S T night ever. I cried A L L night.

March 5

Looking prettttty rough at Harrison's first Pediatrician appointment after our miserable night at home.

It got much better after we regrouped. Ryan went on a shopping spree for all the things we weren't prepared for to get us on track. On 3/5, at his newborn check up, he weighed 7 lb 6 oz. It is expected for newborns to lose weight after birth. So we went into the weekend knowing we had work to do to gain it back. On that Monday, 3/7, he weighed 7 lb 14.5 oz. In four days, he was almost back to his birth weight. Mom Victoryyy.

Over the next week, our babe was {slightly} more predictable. We didn't set an alarm for feeding every 3-4 hours and he was sleeping in the rock n' play by our bed. There were several days where my own body was the worst part. There are things people don't talk about, even on full disclosure blog posts, and I won't either. Just know, it is bad. I ended up having a pretty bad night about a week out {read - another night of crying}, went to my OB just in time to catch an infection, and got some meds to get back on the healing track. I can't believe they discharge you from the hospital and don't plan to see you for 6 weeks. There is A LOT of healing to do and it's hard to even know when something is not "normal". Your body is a mess. My midwife was great and reaffirmed that it was good that I came in when I did.

March 10

After 7-10 days, Harrison started having awake spells, usually in the mornings. I was feeling better, so Ryan and I were getting out to do somethings while he was off work. We went to Target. We sat outside Starbucks. Drove around looking at potential neighborhoods. Rearranged the bedroom {again}. Harrison enjoyed his first bath until we washed his hair and pulled him out of the tub. I panicked about not having newborn pictures done, so we got some newborn pictures done. He lost the pealing skin on his face and feet. Ryan and I both learned how to sooth him with Dr. Karp's calming techniques... he likes his left side, the bath water running, the microwave vent/fan, "shushing", swaddling in a tight SwaddleMe, swaying/rocking movement up and down, and sucking on my pinkie finger. It was really nice to have Ryan home for two weeks so we could figure out new parenthood together.

Time has started to blur and the following week is fuzzy. I was home by myself during the day and did a lot of nursing and holding a sleepy baby. It has been so great having my parents soooo close. {We are currently living with them, so VERY close}. My mom has been great with helping troubleshot growth spurts, fussy evenings and keeping us fed! When we move {hopefully this summer!}, grocery shopping and preparing meals on our own will be a big transition.

After his two week appointment {I only remember this day specifically because I'm not in sweats}.

March 17

The last week or so, Harrison has wanted to be in my arms 100% of the time. Nursing, some awake time and sleeping, in MY arms. At night he was only content sleeping on my or Ryan's chest. Exhausting. This went on for 4-5 days straight and was really starting to wear on me. It was ridiculous to not be able to get a shower or even brush my teeth in a whole day. I hated hearing him cry and cry when someone else is trying to sooth him, but I just needed a break when he didn't actually NEED me for milk. After his doctor's appointment, with a vaccine shot in his leg, he finally slept the night in his bouncer. Praise the Lord.

March 31 - Loving a warm sink bath

At one month Harrison is finally starting to take a paci on occasion, being introduced to a bottle {but not actually sucking at all}, is on the verge of giving us a smile, focuses on our faces, out of newborn clothes, turns his head when people are talking and sleeping/napping is touch-and-go. Everything we read is still no schedule, no pattern, and, "keep trying different things." He is a growing boy and we love him!

Yesterday, at his one month, he weighed in at 9 lb 11 oz and measured 21.75 inches long {I think they way over measured his length at the hospital so he's been working back up to his measured birth length}! He has outgrown his newborn clothes =( and three month clothes are already snug! Eeeep, we have some clothes to wear before he grows out of them!

Week 39: Patiently waiting

I do have a bump picture from this weekend... I'll get it up. Soon.

Mood: I am in this great place of feeling very ready to bring a baby home {not sure if I'll ever be 100% ready to go into labor}. Yes, I'm a somewhat uncomfortable. Yes, I have some aches and pains. Yes, my ankles get a little swollen. But no, I wouldn't say, "I would do anything to get this baby out." Being "happy as a clam" might be pushing it too far, but I'm not "so over being pregnant."

Size & Progress: At our appointment on Friday {39 weeks, 1 day}, the OB guessed he was about 6.5 pounds, not a huge baby; he could be able 7 pounds at birth. I was 1 cm dilated and maybe a little effaced. We all agreed that I probably wasn't going to go into labor in the next couple of days. Through the weekend, I wouldn't say anything has changed, so I still fell more than a couple of days out. 

Due date: If I had to guess, this week is out and the window of possibility would be next week, sometime between the 27th-5th. My more narrowed guess would be between 28th-2nd. And if I had to pick one day, either the 29th or March 1st {I go back and forth}. Ryan is routing for the 28th or 29th. We shall see. 

This week: When we left the OB appointment and she said to enjoy our potential last weekend before baby's arrival. And then Ryan worked a long baseball day and I pretty much did nothing. Whomp whomp. 

The To Do list: I take that back. We did do a few small things on the list this weekend!

We watched "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp and learned about soothing a crying baby by triggering the calming reflex. The key is to think of the baby's first three months of life as the 4th trimester. He coaches parents to use the 5 S's (Swaddling, Side/Stomach position, Shushing, Swinging, Sucking) to replicate what the baby knows from being in the womb. It will take practice to master and should be "fun" to learn which combo our little babe needs. 

My Mom and Dad got the study cleaned out to make room for a little nursing/rocking corner!!

The hospital bag is only missing a few items: camera, going home shirt for mama, snacks and the last minute items like a phone charger and pillow. 

A few things to keep me busy with the ongoing To Do list... I have some notes to write and want to watch a video by Dr. Jack Newman about breastfeeding. I also have a few other baby items to wash/fold/organize. And some continued training with Wrigley, as she's learning which toys are not hers to play with.  

Week 38: Advanced Nesting Mode

So this is what real nesting feels like. I ended up with an unexpected snow day today {Monday} and even after a very busy baby-prep weekend, I have been in full organization/baby laundry mode since 6:15am.

To Do list: Ryan and I got {almost} everything on the To Do list checked off this weekend. We installed the car seat, made trips to all the local baby stores, put together & set up the pack n play and rearranged our bedroom. I say {almost} ready because I think "advanced nesting mode" means I will continually add things until baby is here! Some of the things I still plan to do include packing a hospital bag {I know this is not a random addition to the list}, watch Happiest Baby on the Block, fully stock the diaper changing area & nursing station tote, wash/fold/organize the clothes, blankets, towels, burp clothes, etc. and order/line up a pump. This is why I've been busy since 6am. It's also why I order something from Amazon Prime pretty much every day. 

Size: If the estimation was right from the end of 36 weeks, he'd be about 7 pounds today. I am trying to mentally prepare to eat healthier after he's born because I have gained more than just the 7-8 pounds he'll weigh in at {hopefully he won't be much more than that}. Overall, I'm not too worried about his weight or my weight. 

Symptoms: At the beginning of last week, I had two days that I did not feel so great. I don't even know what it was. My stomach was feeling funny, crampy, weird, my back was constantly hurting, and I could BARELY move around. Overall I was very uncomfortable and I thought my body was about to transition into the more unknown territory of labor or at least some contractions. Then...nothing. 

After those two days, I'm back to normal pregnancy of working around by belly but feeling good! Maybe moving slower, but I won't admit it. Some calf cramps at night. Mild limb swelling. Now I'm back to thinking I'm at least 4-5 days out from the main event. 

Mood: Anticipation building that's greater than Christmas!!! Nesting. Excited. Patiently waiting. Loving days spent with my Ryan. 

Nursery: Additions to our room include a pack n play, changing table and room for baby's clothes! And organization woo! Check it out. 

Changing table with hospital bag ready to grab n go!

Daddy: Went into overdrive with me this weekend to get things done. He's the BEST organizer. 

This week: Fast forward a couple of days to the end of week 38. I got so much done earlier this week... everything that is supposed to vibrate or make noise has new batteries, baby clothes/blankets/bags are ready to go, my bag is mostly ready, minus a few things I'll throw in... I don't even know what else I need to do. {I'm not sure I'm mentally ready, but we are prepared with lots of babies stuffff}. Ready ready ready to add you baby!!! 

Wrigley doesn't understand why I spent so much time organizing onesies by size, socks, hats, pants, sleepers, blankets.

Week 37: Full term

It's as if my body knows this is the home stretccccchhhh. Don't give up now, we still have work to do!

Symptoms: I don't even like to acknowledge I have pregnancy symptoms. I do better to take care of myself and ignore the little things. However.... My hands and feet have been a little swollen. My belly hardens on and off all day {still not describing any of them as painful though or giving them the title of Braxton-Hicks!}. Back pain ugh. My abs seem to have turned off and don't want to help me move around. I definitely won't admit that I'm moving slower around work. Still lots of belly movement, especially after meals. I LOVE feeling him move and we still fit about the territory under my right rib. 

Ultrasound update: On Wednesday last week {at 36 weeks, 6 days}, we had an ultrasound to estimate weight and see position. The weight calculation from the size of his head and length of his femur was 6lb. 2oz. Completely in a normal range, on the small side. He will gain about 1/2 pound a week. I was on the money with his position... Head down, legs on my right side, spine down my left side. The tech said 9 out of 10 times the baby is in this position. Annnnd confirmed BOY!

The To Do list: I have made a final list of little things to take care of! Just small things, install the car seat, nursing pIllow, line up ordering a pump, turn in ST disability form and a few other small essentials. It is stressing some people out that I don't have a hospital bag packed yet - I have a good list ready! I am more focused on having our room and baby set up for when we bring baby home. Things are coming along!

Mood: A huge mix of excitement and sadness about life that will never be the same. I know, I know, but life will be better! And this baby will bring such joy to our lives! I believe all those things, but there's still a feeling of lose that it won't ever just be me and Ryan again. And it won't be easy to just run out to meet friends for dinner without childcare. Or spontaneous day trips together. Strong hormones make both sides feel overwhelming at times, which is the reality of what's coming! 

This week: I had a small intimate baby shower this weekend that some close friends threw for me. It was the perfect size with a great group of ladies that made me feel so loved and supported as I am about to enter into this journey of motherhood. We got to chat away about babies, being mothers, memories and the great anticipation of Baby W's arrival.

Due date: I'm officially due Feb 25. Any guesses to when he'll actually arrive?! We have a lot of dates to dodge {or aim for according to Ryan}. Here's the list of happenings and birthdays coming up...

Feb 14 - Valentine's Day 

Feb 16 - George (nephew in Illinois)
Feb 19 - Amanda (my sister)

Feb 20 - Regina's due date with #5 (Ryan's sister)

Feb 25 - Due date!

Feb 28 - Ryan

Feb 29 - Helen (niece in Illinois)/ Leap Day!

March 5 - Lucy (niece in Illinois)

I still want a March baby but with sleep not going as well, time has started to slow down... Maybe it would be ok if he came early. I'm not having stretches of real contractions {or anything painful that I would even call a contraction}, which makes me think I'm more than just a couple of days away. Maybe at least a week..?! We're {mostly} ready for you baby!!

Week 34-36: IT'S FEBRUARY!!

Working out of the academic setting makes weeks and months sort of blur and I CANNOT believe it's February.

Size: We have an ultrasound on Wednesday to get an estimated weight/size and see what position he is in. {My prediction is small, long and head down, facing my right side.} I can't wait to see him!! 

The To Do List: Last weekend during the snowstorm, I made a list of essentials. My essential list is really focused on the first month of so with the lil babe. It includes things anywhere from car seat, diaper bag, and pack n play to nursing bras, coconut oil, stool softeners, baby detergent and a rectal thermometer {which was mentioned as essential by our pediatrician}. As with all my baby prep, I don't want to have way to much stuff, that I won't end up using and don't have room for anyways. I might be turning into a serious minimalist {we'll see if I can pull it off, there are so many cute baby things out there!}. 

So this weekend, I made huge progress on my list! I have all the big items lined up and about half the smaller items. I am on the look out for a Babies R Us coupon to use on the stroller/car seat. Scratch that - I found a coupon and immediately went after work to buy it. I got a glider/rocker off Craigslist and made my first trips to BuyBuyBaby and Babies R Us. 

Mood: A lot of people ask me, "So, are you ready? Do you have everything? Is it all set up?" Up until this weekend my response was.... "Ehhhh, I'm not there yet. Still need the essentials like a car seat. I'll get there." Even though people are encouraging that newborns done need that much, I hadn't really gotten ready. After this weekend, I'm definitely feeling ready! This baby could come and I would be ready to bring him home {in a carseat!} and nurse him to sleep {sitting in a glider} before laying him down {in a safe sleeping playard}. 

Daddy: Ryan's hitting the beginning of the crazy overlap seasons of Winter/Spring {Read: Super early hours making for long days with no days off}. He's hoping the timing of the baby's arrival is end of Feb/early March so he can get through most of this bad overlapping time and some time away from work correlates near his spring break. Either way, he's getting things lined up knowing the lil babe could come very soon! He works so hard and continues to excel in his position. I'm so grateful that our babe will get to learn so much from him. 

This week: Let's actually talk about last week... we had about 20" of snow come down over the weekend. #snowmegeddon2016. Ryan, Mom & Dad did A LOT of shoveling, while I did a lot of reading and barely going outside. I missed our usually snow adventures at Sweet Briar of sledding and playing with Wrigley in the snow. But I enjoyed spending time with my bump and watching him move around {I also do a lot of poking him back}. 

Week 33

Size: Honeydew melon. 4+ pounds. I'm adding a pound a week; he's adding 1/2 pound per week.

Movement: With less amniotic fluid, I have been able to feel a significant increase in movements.

My rockin' bod: Over the last week or so, I have started to feel more uncomfortable. It's significantly harder to tie my shoes or roll over in bed. I guess this might be the beginning of the discomfort that comes with the third trimester. For some reason, I'm still wanting a March baby {so how uncomfortable can I really be?}... we'll see if that changes and when I get to a point of being officially "over it."

Symptoms: Weird dreams continue about everyone not realizing I actually had the baby. But now that I've been to our child birthing class, it seems like it would be hard for people to miss all the drama.

This week:

Ryan and I went to an all-day child birthing class through my OB's office, lead by a Labor & Delivery nurse with 25+ years experience.

All in all, we learned SO much... How to count contractions, pain options, general timeline of events, medical terms to know, what to expect specifically at our hospital, when to call the MD office {and ALWAYS to call them first, no matter what time}, use the Green parking garage, which door to enter, newborn evaluations, etc, etc, etc. 

Ryan would have been fine jumping into it, "he's a risk taker like that." However, I knew less than 2% of what she went over; I am a firm believer that knowledge is power. Ryan and I were even able to talk through a general birth plan after. I wouldn't say I'm excited {I definitely got a little scared}, but I feel exponentially better and more prepared. {Do I really have to wait 6-7ish more weeks??!? I'm ready to get this show on the road}. 

I'd say I'm most anxious about having nothing to eat for 15+ hours in labor and then going straight into such a physically demanding task. {How is that even possible??!} I feel like I'm getting ready for another soccer preseason and won't be allowed to eat for a week through all the work outs/practices. I plan to eat a last meal before going to the hospital. 

The To Do list: It seems important to document big things I've checked off my list! The child birthing class and basic breastfeeding class - done. Also done... Nailed down a pediatrician. Pre-registered at the hospital. Submitted my leave request at work. Got a haircut. Completed and submitted the continuing education units for my ATC certification. Renewed my ATC license for Virginia. Called the insurance company. Made OB appointments through my due date!!! Ah. Have a tentative birth plan!! Ahh. Worked on our baby registry {on babylist} which included picking out a crib, pack n play, stroller/car seat, diapers, pacifiers, coming home outfit, and diaper bag. {A baby registry is a TASK, there are reviews and opinions on EVERY item.}

Still to come... getting ANY of the essential baby items listed above, Christmas returns, nursery set up, line up ordering a pump, pediatrician orientation meeting, getting Wrigley's ears and teeth cleaned, meeting with anesthesiologist, make & freeze lactation cookies.... and pick a baby name.

Looking forward to: An ultrasound at 36 weeks to see position and get an estimated weight. I can't wait to see our little guy! I have been so curious about his position and what has been bulging into my right rib. I would put money on it that he's head down and can tell you exactly where I think his butt is {up by my right rib with good leverage to for his legs/feet to kick}.

Week 31: Christmas!!

Size: Over 3 pounds. Baby is at full birth length {which I think is tall because he is ALWAYS in my right ribs}. Packing on the pounds at a rate of 1/2 pound per week to add fatty tissue before birth.

Sometimes I get really enthusiastic when trying to take a bump picture. 

Symptoms: Pressure on my diaphragm/ shortness of breath. Nightly calf cramps. Increased bathroom trips. Can't lay on my back without losing blood flow to my lower half. Abdomen tightening episodes, especially when I move around quickly or bend over/squish my belly. 

Pregnancy nightmares: {apparently it's a thing}. Last night I had my first scary baby dream. It was the first couple of days after the baby was born and no one would let me feed him! Somehow I forgot to start nursing him and therefore I had no idea if he was getting any food. And no one could answer my questions or bring him to me. Nevertheless, I woke up and realized how irrational it was to think I wouldn't remember to feed him... Guess I've got breastfeeding on my mind. 

Mood: Eeeeeeepp! Two months?!?? Doing well overall! I had an episode of crying at the most random time that turned into laughing because I had no idea where it came from. Ryan handled it well. 

Food: My favorite meal over the holidays was definitely ham on a roll with honey mustard. {Maybe a craving that was easily fulfilled?!} I also enjoyed some other favorites: coconut cake, frozen fruit salad, green beans, broccoli/cheese soup, pretzel salad, sausage balls and orange rolls.

Movement: When we got home from our trip I had two days of serious movement all day. I think he was shy when we were around lots of new people and voices in Alabama. 

Nursery: Ready to clean out my parents "study" and make room for a baby!! We're going to clean out some boxes, set up a changing station, make a place for baby clothes and a nursing chair/rocker. I can turn into a slave driver when it comes to house projects... I promise to try to stay calm. 

Name: Tired of hearing I can't decided?! Samsies.

Baby Daddy: He got this new momma some great Christmas gifts, including a bump/pregnancy pillow, Vera Bradley weekender bag {aka hospital bag}, and a motherhood jacket to fit my bump or a baby under my jacket.

What we did this week:
Ryan, Wrigley and I got to travel to Alabama for Christmas again this year! I'm so glad we didn't miss out on ALL the family traditions. We had a special Christmas morning with our two nieces, Becca & Diana, {and of course sausage balls and orange rolls for breakfast}, spent time with my Granddad {who is doing so much better}, had the whole Huff side in one place and a tour of the Decatur Christmas lights and lots of yummy food.

Low country boil with the Frickies

ALL the Huffs