Week 20: Halfway

Movement: We have movement! I have started to feeling our little babe kicking around at the end of the day when I'm laying down or sitting watching tv. I don't feel it throughout the day, probably because I'm running around the office most of the time. 

Mood: I notified my employer of my pregnancy, which is a huge weight off my shoulders. It has been weird living a double life of keeping it a secret at work vs easily talking about it and not hiding it at home. Now, I feel like sharing it with the world and will probably be taking more consistent bump pics! 

My excitement to prep for our babe's arrival is definitely here! I am ready to get a car seat, warm winter baby clothes, pack my hospital bag, stock up on diapers and jump on awesome craigslist items I see {Northern Va craigslist is the BEST deal around}. 

Yes, my mood is a 180 from some days last week. I'm in denial of pregnancy hormones, best not to mention them.

Size: 8-10 inches! Large banana. Weighs 10-11oz. {estimates from some apps, nothing official}. 

My rockin bod & fashion: This belly is growing. I can still use a hair tie on my jeans button and use a belly band. My stretchy, higher wasted jeans are still working for now. It's common to want to highlight the bump at a certain point, but I strongly dislike tight fitted clothes. My discomfort is more about the bust region than my growing belly. I can handle my jeans with a tshirt, but would prefer a roomy sweater/sweatshirt. 

My rockin bod is also fighting some sickness with a headache, sore throat, snotty nose and clogged ears. Hopefully the worst is behind me because it has been really hard to get out the door to work at 6:30/7am. 

Appointment updates: We followed up with the fetal cardiologist who gave us suberb news that baby's heart looks 100% normal. Since our first ultrasound, the heart is larger and easier to see, so we got the clear to proceed normally without any hesitation. I learned a lot about fetal heart development, which was interesting. Once the heart is formed at 8 weeks, all structures are there. The reason we had "inconclusive" images was because we were only 18 weeks and it was not large enough to see yet. My suggestion would be to wait until AT LEAST 20 weeks for the anatomy ultrasound. 

I also had another OB appointment that was entirely uneventful {which I suppose is ok}. I got a long list of to-dos that I'm not eager to do. Meh, I'll TRY not to be a delinquent patient. 

Gender/Names: Gender reveal pics coming soon! We're getting better at discussing names with our narrowed focus, although I still do not think we will be 100% confirming a name until this babe is in our arms! 

This week: Baby W got to go to his/her first Blackhawks game!! I love hockey games, we went to a Caps game last weekend, but this week we were rooting for the Blackhawks. We didn't get a stellar pic, but I wanted to document the game and bump! 

Wrigley is rooting for the cubbies this week too!! 

Week 19: Lean IN

I have a hard time writing a blog post when I'm not feeling 100% excited and happy about this baby. {Yes, sometimes, I'm scared, overwhelmed, worried and anxious about being pregnant and having a baby}. This week, I hit a point where I thought I would just abandon the pregnancy blog. Instead, I decided to press on, knowing that it is important to share that not all pregnancies go 100% smoothly; sometimes there are complications or unknowns.

In our case, at our anatomy ultrasound last week {when I was 18 weeks, 1 day}....

The appointment left me with so many emotions. We found out the gender, saw so many good things with the baby's development, but it was overshadowed with concerns about the baby's heart. After having "inconclusive" pictures of the one particular view, we were referred to see a fetal cardiology specialist. I am having to work hard to be excited {as opposed to nervous/scared/anxious all the time} and really wanted to be purely excited after the appointment. Even though everything could go smoothly and be fine at the specialist, I left our first US appointment feeling overwhelmed and worried.

I was able to return to the radiologist for a second US this week {at 19 weeks, 1 day} for a few more pictures. The heart looks a lot better already. They were able to get pictures from a different angle and see more development.

So here is the reality... Sometimes I panic that I'm pregnant right now. I get anxious about our future, how are life is about to change for forever, how we will sort out all these financial changes, blah blah blah. The truth is, my whole life is an unknown. The ONLY certain thing in this whole world is that God has a plan for me.  I can't just believe in God's plan a little bit, every single day I have to physically and mentally lean IN to knowing God has a plan. Because if I don't, I've got nothing.

Yes, I would love it if he wrote me a letter spelling out every detail of the plan, but that's not how God works. I have to trust him everyday with our future and our baby's future. By focusing on this, not only is it the only way to make it through emotional complications, but it is preparing me to be a parent when there are a thousand more things out of my control. Sometimes I feel at peace to hand it all over to Him; sometimes is it HARD. I get stressed just by trying to give it up. So maybe I am more emotional or hormonal, but God gave me these emotions and it leads me to him every time. {And even writing this makes me teary-eyed.}

So if you stuck to the reading about my emotions above, I supposed I can do a quick update....

Momma Bod: I swear my belly grew overnight. My scrubs are tighter and my XL sweatpants felt too tight at the end of the day pressing on my belly. {Not too small, I just don't like things tight}

Movement: I might be feeling a little movement..?!? It's really hard to tell. Nothing has stopped me during the day though. When I lay down and am really trying to feel movement, I feel my pulse in my stomach, just above my uterus. But could that actually be movement??!?

Food: I am having a hard time eating normal amounts of food. My appetite is low because I get the feeling of being full/stuffed very easily. I can't really snack throughout the day while at work, and my lunch break is only 20-25 minutes. I try to eat a slow, good sized dinner, which is also a challenge because my bedtime routine starts at about 8:15pm.

Mood: I think those around me might say that I easily get worked up. They might even call it "more emotional" or "more hormonal." I would say, with our move and new transition, there are still so many unknowns to me that I get overwhelmed that we don't have a specific plan for everything. I like a plan, and even if it changes, I like to start with some sort of feasible plan.

My Encouragement: Lean IN to God and his plan. Trusting God is more than just acknowledging he has a great plan for us. LEAN IN.

"Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal."
Isaiah 26:4

Sing it... "He is my rock, my sword, my shielddddd..." If you went to Vacation Bible School, you probably know it {and learned all the hand signs}! To refresh your memory...This is the original bluegrass version by Randy Travis   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-Q31Np8fYU

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jer 29:11

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight."
Prov 3:5-6

Week 18 & 19: Sonogram pics

I don't want two posts in a row without pictures. This baby is such a cutie that I wanted to share so many of them! First couple are from 18 weeks, then some from 19 weeks. Then I'll get a post up with more details...

This is my FAVORITE. This was at the beginning of the sonogram, the probe and poking was waking the baby up. The baby stretched, with an arched back and arms overhead, as he/she rolled away from the probe. WHAT A CUTIE. 

We saw LOTS of thumb/hand sucking.

When we were trying to get some 3D pictures, the baby had his/her hand in front of the face most of the time.

Repeating Week 17

Size: 4-5 inches! 

This week, we had our first appointment with at an office in Arlington. They confirmed that I am a week behind based on the first sonogram measurement. This mean that I actually didn't start week 17 until this week. So we're currently repeating week 17. 

Momma Bod: More pressure in my lower abdomen and really don't like tighter waistbands. My uterus is up to my belly button. 

Symptoms: Frequantly using the bathroom. Trying to stay hydrated, which also increases trips to bathroom.

Mood: A little concerned about my prior back surgery/injury flaring up and/or causing complications with an epidural if a c-section is needed. I'm glad we talked about it at the appointment and will meet with an anesthesiologist to come up with some possible plans. I'll also do some PT to try to prevent the debilitating LBP I've experienced before. Overall, wishing the OB appointment was more eventful. 

Movement: At our appointment we were able to hear the heartbeat (strong and fast at 160ish). After 20 seconds, the heartbeat was interrupted by a quick scratchy sound, which the midwife said was the babe kicking the probe. I am still excited to feel some movement. I'm able to lay on my back and easy feel how big my uterus is, so sometimes I lay down and really focus on feeling something. Nothing yet! 

Cravings/Food: Mom and I cooked a delicious lasagna last weekend. I ate on it for several days and took it for lunches. I even wrote down our recipe to be able to make it again! Loaded baked potatoes with BBQ chicken was also a hit for this mama, similar to an Alabama favorite from Gibson's with pork. Mom made an Asian inspired soup and I think I could repeat if I bought all the right spices and flavored oils/peppers. 

Fashion: Scrubs! I wore my larger jeans to the UVA/ND football game and then my other stretchy skinny jeans on another day with a hair tie around the button. Both worked. I don't like anything tight across my stomach so it wasn't that comfortable. 

Baby Daddy: Had SO much fun at the UVA/Notre Dame football game last weekend. He even said it was "the best football game he's ever been to." There was lots of back and forth scoring, game-changing injuries, and we sat about 8 rows up from the main end zone in the corner. It doesn't hurt that he is a ND football fan, we were surrounded by strong opinionated UVA fans.... And ND won with a touchdown in the last 12 seconds of the game. 

On the baby front, he's excited to find out the gender and if it's a boy.... He's ready to buy Baby W all the fishing and sports gear he'll ever need. 

Coming up: Anatomy ultrasound scheduled for FRIDAY. This appointment is really bringing out my excitement. I'm still waiting to feel movement but Friday I'll be able to see baby W squirming around!! Baby girl or boy??! I can't wait. 

Week 16: Cruisin'

Size: 4-5 inches, 3-5 oz. An avacado. That seems HUGE to me.

Momma Bod: Nothing drastically new. Early on I noticed a soreness in my abdomen, which started low and toward the midline of my torso. The last several weeks, the soreness began to widened and moved up towards the base of my rib cage. It's not painful, just a localized sore area when I lay on my back or sneeze. My body is definitely preparing for my uterus to continue to grow and my belly to strrreeeeetcchhhh.

Mood:  I actually don't think about being pregnant that much right now. This is due to several factors... I have been feeling better and eating normal, I have been busy at work cramming my brain full of new information and computer programs, and I haven't been to the doctor for a follow-up in a while.

I have had a few moments of feeling "more emotional." This could be entirely because I am adjusting to so many changes. Or some new levels of hormones. Maybe some of both.

Maternity Fashion: Scrubs for work. All day, everyday. I dress up for church on Sundays, but have grown out of the bust area in so many of my dressy outfit choices. I am keeping an eye out for longer, stretchy fabric dresses to wear that will fit now and when my belly really starts growing.

Movement: Still waiting to feel a little flutter!

Gender/Names: I am 95% convinced that this babe is a boy. We have so many nieces in our family that I'm just sure we will be contributing to the underrepresented gender. {I know this is technically not how the probability of gender selection works.}

When we talk about potential names, the most Ryan can get out of me is a "maybe," I haven't said, "Oh I like that," for any possibilities. I keep us focused on only considering boys' names for now. We have time to keep discussing... maybe finding out the gender will help...? {Hopefully we won't be at the hospital with our babe in arms and a blank birth certificate}.

Daddyo: I am so blessed to be married to Ryan. I had a hard week {my episode of "more emotional"}, and he knew just how to encourage me and comfort me. He has come up with his current "Top Boys Names" list.... and I said maybe to two of them.

Encouragement for me this week:
Isaiah 35:4-7 "Say to those who have an anxious heart, 'Be strong; fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you.' Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf unstopped; then shall the lame man leap like a deer, and the tongue of the mute sing for joy. For waters break forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert; the burning sand shall become pool, and the thirsty ground springs of water; in the haunt of jackals, where they lie down, the grass shall become reeds and rushes."

We read this verse at church this week, from Isaiah, and it reminds me of the God's big picture and God's plan that we cannot even fathom. Although in this world it is a challenge, my priority is to be trusting and seeking Him in ALL I do. His plan is far greater than anything I could every understand or write myself. The end goal is to stay in Him, without fear, every day, until he comes again and takes me home.

Keeping my eye on the prize.

We ended with the hymn, "Christ the solid Rock I stand," which goes like this.... "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness; I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name. On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand."

Week 14: Quick update

This is a quick update that I didn't want to miss because I dressed up for church and took a bump picture!

Size:  3.4 inches -- a lemon. This weekend we baked a pound cake with a lemon glaze to go with our homemade vanilla ice cream.

Momma Bod:

What I did this week: I started my new job this week and my head is very full of new information {mainly how to use several new computer programs to track patients and insurance billing codes}.

Week 13: Second trimester!

{I actually just started Week 14....but I didn't quite get this posted before Thurs.}

Size: Baby went from small pea to blueberry, to big raspberry, to lime {my favorite}, to large plum to peach {my second favorite}! About 3 inches. Baby was small at 10-week ultrasound, so maybe not quite that big.

The size and how many weeks along I am has become some what of a debate. It was {and still is} unclear where the baby length measurements from my Week 10 ultrasound put me for my estimated due date. I have been told various expected dates ranging from Feb. 18 - March 3 {perfectly nestled around LEAP DAY, Feb. 29}. Although it doesn't change anything, it's frustrating not knowing exactly which week to read on my "What to Expect" pregnancy app!

Just to keep it all straight, for now, I'm sticking with what my app says until told otherwise. {Although, I'm probably closer to Week 13 this week, so maybe this post timing is accurate??}

Momma Bod: This is what I wrote at 12 weeks 5 days..... "No real bump yet. I feel like I can't suck in my stomach, but I'm still fitting into all of my pants/shorts {even though I don't wear them - refer to "Fashion" section below}. I need new bras, but am sticking to my comfortable sports bras for now." Over the last 4-7 days, I started getting a little bump. I can feel the bulge of my uterus, different than just added belly fat. I also hit a point of desperation for a new bra {without details, just know that this was a huge struggle}.

Bump PREVIEW... using a soccer ball in Target

Mood: Relatively stable. Anxious about all the changes, mainly the crazy early hours of my new job starting on Monday!

Symptoms: Some nausea, limited appetite. Ready for second trimester "boost" of energy; I can't make it through the day without a nap for at least an hour.

Sleep: I sleep in all positions, rarely on my back. I have always moved a lot in my sleep, which continues. I am loving the king-size bed in my parent's guest bedroom. 

Food: Cereal or toast for breakfast, 1/2 cup of 1/2 caff coffee, yogurts, pretzels, snack bars, sandwich for lunch, grapes, apples, carrots, almonds, chips, ice cream sandwiches. Usually a small serving of a dinner meal: chicken tortilla soup, salad, District tacos, spaghetti.

Maternity fashion: I am a frump. If you don't know what frumpy means, ehhh, it means dressing down and casual... but it's more than that.... it's not matching, wrinkly, weird fitting clothes, weird patterns or textures, messy hair, and probably no make up. I have known what frumpy means from a young age. And now, I have reverted back to my old ways. I dress frumpy everyday. My style has always been about comfort, and the only thing comfortable to me right now is L or XL t-shirts, sports bras, loose shorts or sweatpants, and a messy hair bun. This is a case of {very} frumpy because it has gone on for several weeks. My reason is simply because I can and it's comfortable. One day last weekend I put on jean shorts. On a separate day, I wore my interview suit for a couple of hours. I also got my hair trimmed, but only wore it down for the interview. 

{As a side note - don't mistake frumpy for poor hygiene. I wear clean clothes, shower daily, use deodorant and shave my legs regularly.} 

Baby daddy: Has been working hard at his new job! Sometimes he comes home for lunch, which I love. He has been encouraging {and calm} through all the changes, especially when I've been interviewing for jobs. 

What we did this week: Spent the last two weekends in Luray at the cabin!

On the Shenandoah...

....Catching lil fish

We also went to an awesome concert at Wolf Trap, I really liked all four bands.... Colony House, Drew Holcome and The Neighbors, Switchfoot and Needtobreathe.

Encore with all four bands jammin

Looking forward to: Trying to convince the new OB to do another ultrasound. Also - When should I expect to start feeling some movement?! AND getting into a routine of being out the door at 6:15am. Eeek.